Forty Years, forty days or forty seconds?

I have an Android phone and if I download an App for it I am happy if it downloads in forty seconds. My expectation is set at that level by modern technology. In the early days of computing our expectations were much lower. It could take hours to download new software and even then it could sometimes crash and the whole process would have to be started again. The expectation nowadays is instant results. But it is not that long ago that we had to work harder at all things. I remember hearing on the TV, on "Who Do You Think You Are?" About a couple whose relationship had started as pen friends during the war. They exchanged a letter a week with each other and some of the letters even got lost between the war front and home. Their friendship and love had to blossom into romance and eventual marriage with these inevitable gaps in between hearing from each other. I am not sure we could easily do that nowadays. But if something is good it is worth waiting for isn't it? The experience of waiting can promote a greater degree of understanding.

Now we are all probably in either a love or hate relationship with God. I have met very few people who are genuinely indifferent towards him.

He is an amazing God it is true, yet at the same time enigmatic and elusive. A God of mystery who sometimes makes himself very clear. Sometimes we just don't get him however hard we try. Some spiritual writers talk about a Dark Night of the Soul which can last for years, where they cling almost to their belief and memories of a merciful God, like those two lovers clutching their photographs, waiting for him to speak again.

Moses spent forty years as a shepherd before God spoke to him and called him. Maybe he needed that time to prepare himself to be open enough for the task that God had assigned to him. Or maybe it took forty years to develop the ability to hear the Lord.

Jesus spent forty days in the desert before he began his ministry. During the forty days the devil tried to distract him from starting his ministry by tempting him. The desert became a war zone between Jesus and temptation.

It seems that God sends us love letters all our life, sometimes they get intercepted between the war front and home and so we never get to open them or understand them. The ones we open - we sometimes understand and appreciate. Sometimes we write back and have an enthusiasm on our heart for a few days. Other times we think "that's nice" and put them to one side thinking we will reply later.

God is the "gentle invader" of our life. Seeking always to start a relationship with us, without forcing the issue. Because for love to be real it needs to be freely given and not forced. Sometimes we just can't see who or what is good for us. God is good for us! He heals us and makes us whole. He invites us constantly but our intentions and our hearts go astray and we can't answer. But still he calls us into relationship.

I realise I have spent a lot of my life blowing hot and cold for the Lord. But that has changed. I am seeking his face, his love in my life, his healing, his plan. Because I have discovered in my detours that, in fact , he is the ultimate good that I need.

No compromises any more, my yes will be yes, my heart is being converted - will you allow Jesus to break through your defences? May I be a man after your own heart. But it will take more than forty seconds. Possibly more than forty days. But if I listen it will be less. You at last have my attention Lord. Teach me to listen.

For Reflection
But as surely as God is faithful, our message to you is not "Yes" and "No." For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by us—by me and Silas and Timothy—was not "Yes" and "No," but in him it has always been "Yes." For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God. Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. 2 Corinthians 1:18-22 NIV


Dear Jesus, I want more of you in my life. Help me to let you in. Keep fear out and let me know the love of God in a new way that makes me more compassionate. Amen