Faithful in small things

Now Debs and I were discussing the various versions of CSI on the telly the other day. Trying to think which was our favourite. After a bit of banter I told Debs that the lead character in CSI Miami Horaitio Caine is my favourite because he "wears his integrity like a blanket" as the psalm says. There are several examples where he goes beyond the call of duty to help a victim. Exhibiting a kindness that goes beyond his role as a member of the police. He almost invariably addresses hardened criminals as "my friend" even when pointing out to them that he has got them banged to rights. For an example of his kindness did you see the episode where the witness to a crime had learning difficulties? There was a kind of tender hearted compassion thing going on.

I know it is just fiction however story telling has been important to humans for thousands of years.

The conversation with Debs seems to have a link in my head to two other passages from scripture about integrity that have come to the forefront of my attention this week.

......they do not distinguish between the holy and the common; they teach that there is no difference between the unclean and the clean; and they shut their eyes to the keeping of my Sabbaths, so that I am profaned among them. Ezekiel 22:26 NIV

and

I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity. All these things I have given willingly and with honest intent. And now I have seen with joy how willingly your people who are here have given to you.1 Chronicles 29:17 NIV

All this I suppose set me of thinking, where or how do we start to be like that man Horatio?

I think in the Christian it has to start with small things. Remember where Jesus says "Whoever is faithful in small matters will be faithful in large ones; whoever is dishonest in small matters will be dishonest in large ones." Luke 16.10 GNB

The psalm really does say in the translation I use "wear your integrity like a blanket" which I believe means your integrity should protect you from the insidious temptations that come our way. That thought goes nicely with somewhere else in the psalms where it says "shake your hand lest it contain a bribe." So remember be faithful in the small things....

So we need a foundation to build on. Maybe that is enough to think on today? Except to add that daily repentance helps. It is better to do several little midcourse corrections rather than one jarring sharp turnaround.

Dear Lord, you search me and you know me. Help me to be faithful in small things and tender hearted, let my yes be yes and my no be no. Give me words that build up. Amen

A time to pray

It's interesting when you find unexpected things - I have been furtling through my junk this week looking for a lost certificate and I found some notes that I made in March 2004 on a retreat at the Campion Retreat Centre in Melbourne, Australia.

It was for me a long weekend totally away from the normal path of my life. I was part the way through a deep crisis in my personal life and had booked the retreat because I knew I needed something that maybe only a bit of time away and out of the ordinary would give me. Picked largely because the dates fitted - I was then amazed to find out how much the retreat spoke to me over the four days. It was as if God had been patiently waiting for me like a kind father. Now he had my attention he was going to tell me stuff.

First of all that long weekend taught me that if you are in crisis and you turn back to God he will honour your decision and come alongside and bless you.

Secondly, it is worth writing down what God reveals to you so that you can think on it later.

It was interesting to hear a Carmelite monk Fr Greg, talking about our faith and saying "Christianity is not a religion it is a relationship." And that I (or we) can become fully myself through that relationship.

I wish I could tell you exactly how much of a blessing that weekend was in a way that you would believe me.

We went on a journey where we learnt or rediscovered things about our memories, about how our habits also form us, about recommitting to God and most importantly the place for forgiveness in our daily lives. Our dependence on God's grace, a gift for us which is sufficient to make us renewed.

' "My grace is all you need for my power is strongest when you are weak." I am most happy, then to be proud of my weaknesses, in order to feel the protection of Christ's power over me.... For when I am weak, then I am strong. ' 2 Corinthians 12.9

Below I have picked out some key points from my notes for reflection

• St John of the Cross - says that our inward workings are intellect, memory and will
• His life as a monk sought purification of these three aspects
• Our memory can be an obstacle because of it's fallibility or because we hold onto memories that are painful, replaying them
• He asked "Do we let our memory rule us through our emotions?"
• Grace reality is a gift from God, "Do we accept Grace as a gift from God?"
• Prayer in the Carmelite tradition is a way of being present to the loving God, a kind of companionship, shouldn't be like the pharisees, is about relationship, through prayer the will of God becomes apparent, is learning and growing in the presence of God
• Christ is first not me
• Are you loving as God wants you to love?
• Believe in the goodwill of your brother, Jesus always spoke to a persons goodness
• "To love the way you want to love is control" (still unpacking that one! I think it is about making our love conditional, choosing to love)
• the power to forgive belongs to God, if I forgive it has been given by God
• the inability to forgive impedes love
• to truly forgive is to forgive AND love

With apologies to Fr Greg as I have condensed four pages of notes and missed out important bits! But maybe you can see why this retreat was so important to me. Especially as the group of people on it were so lovely.

Dear Lord, help me to understand your love for me, heal my memories and move me forward, let me learn to act the way you would want me to.... Amen

God delights in showing mercy

One of my preoccupations since I moved to Ipswich is which rubbish bin I should put out on a Monday evening. I always have to look it up as I can never remember whether to put my black or blue bin out.

Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we could de-junk our personal lives from the burdens that we carry? Wouldn't it be lovely to be able to put our emotional baggage out for collection?

Some of that feeling we have of emotional baggage comes from having unresolved sin in our lives. I want you to listen to some words from the prophet Micah that reveal a wonderful image of God. Here they are:

"What god can compare with you: taking fault away, pardoning crime, not cherishing anger for ever but delighting in showing mercy? Once more have pity on us, tread down our faults, to the bottom of the sea throw all our sins. Grant Jacob your faithfulness, and Abraham your mercy, as you swore to our fathers from the days of long ago." JB

That sounds like a God that cares for us and wants us to succeed doesn't it? And what a beautiful image "tread down our faults to the bottom of the sea."

Before we go further with that thought we need to ask ourselves what is sin? In the original language of the NewTestament the Greek word 'hamartia' is used. Literally translated this means to 'miss the mark.' Sin is when we deliberately choose to miss the mark. Where we deliberately choose a bad action instead of a good or neutral action. Another way of looking at it is that sin is when we choose to be unloving in the way we act. Now there are various levels of harm caused by sin. A major,or grave, one would be to murder someone. Obviously the harm in that is collosal. A minor sin in comparison is when we tell a white lie. But even that has a knock on effect.

St Paul says that sin unchecked leads to death. I believe that he means spiritual death but he might equally be warning of physical death. We can quite see that the cumulative results of a series of negative actions could lead us into the sort of angry conflict where death ensues. Sometimes inevitably one evil thing leads to another.

Some sins break national laws as well as spiritual laws. It is worth us thinking about the following passage from St Paul "The commandments... are summed up in the one command, "Love your neighbour as you love yourself." If you love someone you will never do them wrong; to love then is to obey the whole law." Romans 13:10 - Surely this means that love should be the yardstick by which we need to measure our actions?

The thing about the Christian faith is that it is about redemption. It doesn't lead us to an awareness of sin and then leave us 'high and dry' to wallow in our misery. God through Jesus offers us a new beginning. A way out of sin, a new way of forgiveness that comes from God.

God wants us to be happy and fulfilled people who have put darkness behind us. He can bring us to a stage where we are aware of our sins. When that happens we need to then turn to him and ask what we need to do put things right. It could be, for example, that we need to forgive someone or ask them to forgive us. That forgiveness then opens us to receiving God's forgiveness. The fact that we are trying to make amends allows a spiritual dynamic to happen.

Now the great thing is that we can access this grace gift at any time. We don't have to wait until the one day in two weeks when the bin men come. God comes out to meet us on the road and is prepared at any time to "tread down our faults to the bottom of the sea."

Dear Lord, help me to identify what in my life needs changing. Show me how that change can happen. Give me courage and insight to take the steps that I need to. Help me to bless and not to curse. To build and not to destroy. May your Spirit come to strengthen me, Amen

Choose life

Those that live in Christ are called into a way of living that is led by the Holy Spirit. Consider these words from St Paul "no longer do we serve in the old way of a written law, but in the new way of the Spirit" Romans 7.6

And Jesus by his life, death and resurrection brought us into a new way of having an experience of God in our life. Refering to the time we are now living in he said "God is Spirit, and only by the power of his Spirit can people worship him as he really is" John 4.24

Jesus ushered in a change in the way people think about religion. In fact he almost abolished the word itself! Instead he revealed much about the inner mind of God that tells us of his heart for us his creation. Jesus speaks to us with a clarity that goes to the core of our being. Sometimes these words can hit right to the nub of something we are wrestling with. Yesterday for example I had been thinking about sin. And the choice we have every day between the two ways, as St Paul puts it, only one of the ways leads to that which will make us more complete.

A close friend of mine dropped by for a chat and a cuppa. We ended up chatting about all sorts of things and something led us to these words of Christ "whoever believes in the Son is not judged; but whoever does not believe has already been judged, because he has not believed in God's only Son. This is how the judgement works : the light has come into the world, but people love the darkness rather than the light, because their deeds are evil. Anyone who does evil things hates the light and will not come to the light, because he does not want his evil deeds to be shown up. But whoever does what is true comes to the light in order that the light may show that what he did was in obedience to God." John 3.18 (GNB)

That passage made me realise that it is not God who condems me, it is my actions. Every day I can choose either to bless or to curse. To Love or to hate. To forgive or to store up the pain of unresolved anger. To live in the light or hide my sins in the darkness. And, when I have sinned sometimes I can't bring myself into the presence of that which is good.

But we have a God who will forgive us if we ask. A God who loves the repentant sinner.

Dear Lord, help me to choose love on a daily basis. Help me to do away with the things of the darkness. Bring me inch by inch into the fullness of your love. Amen

Come back to the sheep fold?

At nearly every funeral I have ever been to Psalm 23 has been sung. Known as the 'Lord is my shepherd' it is also used as the theme song for the Vicar of Dibley. I have been re-reading the words and trying to figure out what it is that makes it one of the most asked for hymns at funerals. I believe that it is because it is so very consoling. It reminds us of the relationship between us and God our creator. Saying that God is like a Shepherd in the way that he cares for us. It is a way of describing the relationship that still works for those that live in the country. But we need to be aware in biblical times the shepherd would have lived with their sheep for months at a time.

The psalm is saying that we are sheep to God's shepherding. Whether we view that as a flattering or unflattering thought it still tells us about how we depend on God for so many things. A good shepherd will look after his sheep from birthing them as lambs onwards. Finding water for them. Finding good pastures for them. Leading them to shelter when it is stormy. Rescuing them when they get caught in thorn bushes or stuck on a crag. The flip side is a bad uncaring shepherd could destroy his flock through lack of care.

We as sheep need to listen to the voice of the shepherd calling us. They say sheep literally do know their shepherds voice. If they don't they can perish.

Some things in life bring us up short. Funerals being one of them, then we can find ourselves asking am I living the way that I should? What will happen if I carry on like this? We have but one shot at our life. But all of us are capable with the help of God of making changes, making mid course corrections. Maybe we need to let the shepherd find us again. To learn once again to hear the voice of a shepherd on my life. Calming and correcting me and leading me to nourishment.

Dear Lord, shepherd of my soul. I ask your blessings on my life. At times I have been like a sheep without a shepherd wandering without direction. Help my restless heart to find it's way back to you. Fill me afresh with your peace and lead me onwards. Amen

For Reflection:

Psalm 23 - A psalm of David (NIV).

The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.